Last Updated on by Buayifa Ojeogwu
Hey, y’all! It’s nice to meet ya, I’m Elizabeth, the blogger at Elizabeth’s Latest.
I’m so excited to be guest posting on Budget & Mom Jeans today!
I’m a stepmom to my husband’s three-year-old son, Pike, from his first marriage.
My husband and I don’t have any kids of our own just quite yet, but I hope they are as smart and sweet as Pike is!
We only get him six days a month – two weekdays and two weekends.
Part-time custody made it a bit tricky to really build a bond and connect with Pike but in the end, he likes me more than daddy (most days).
Here are my top five tips to connect and bond with a stepchild
1. To Connect And Bond With A Stepchild, Follow Their Lead
Don’t try to force a bond right off the bat, especially if your stepchild is really young.
It will be discouraging at times that you don’t have a connection with them, but give it time, and you’ll get there.
It took a few months before Pike warmed up to me.
Now we’re so close, he “pulls” me to his room to play with him.
2. Try To Make Them Feel As Special As Possible
I may not have given birth to Pike or been a part of his life from the get-go, but I love him like he’s my own child.
For Valentine’s Day, I made him a valentine’s basket with paw patrol candy and toys.
That’s something that my mom always did for me. I’ve always wanted to do for my children so I did.
I came up with a special goodnight song for Pike.
Now, I sing it every night at bedtime when we have him.
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3. Be Present When You’re With Them
It’s so easy to get lost in your own thing, but be present when you’re with them.
This is so important if you have part-time custody like we do as it makes a world of difference.
Spend time with them doing what they want to do.
Devote the time you would spend on Facebook or Instagram to them instead.
You’ll bond with them a lot faster.
4. Don’t Be Afraid To Be A Parent To Them
While it is important for you to build a bond and connection with them; you are a co-parent, not a buddy.
You’re going to be a part of their life for a long time.
There are going to be moments where they aren’t going to like you.
And, that’s perfectly fine.
I’ve told Pike no dozens of times but I always make sure he knows that I love him.
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5. You’re Not A Replacement, You’re A Supplement
I know that I can never replace Pike’s mom, and I don’t expect him to view me the same way he views her.
I’m not a replacement, I’m a supplement.
I’m not mommy, I’m Ellie.
However Pike sees me, I love him like he’s my own.
I can’t wait to see him grow and what the future has in store for him.
So these are my top five tips to connect and bond with a stepchild.
Please remember to share this post on your favorite social media channels.
Thanks for reading!
Elizabeth Johnson is a wife, stepmom, blogger, and future elementary teacher.