Last Updated on by Buayifa Ojeogwu
So yesterday was my birthday, and I thought I’d share 10 things you should know before you turn 40.
Before you ask, I’m not forty yet but I’m pretty close and quickly running out of effs to give.
All I wanted for my birthday was my family and me in our quiet space, but you know life happens.
Anyway, I’m writing this post to give you a little insight into the person I am, the way I feel about things, and maybe you’d learn something from me.
And also shine some light on things that are not important when you turn forty.
Let’s get into it.
10 Things You Must Know Before You Turn 40
1. Birthday wishes are not that deep
What I mean by this is that it doesn’t imply anything if your friends miss or did not call you on your birthday.
It doesn’t mean they do not care about you. You must know that people forget stuff even very important dates on the calendar.
And if you don’t get a call does not make you any less special to your loved ones.
As a matter of fact, I really don’t care about birthday wishes unless my husband forgets, then it’s war.
But any other person is welcome to forget or miss my birthday.
So I’ve been meaning to disable my birthday on Facebook but I kept forgetting. Anyway, I removed it and thought I had achieved something. But I was wrong.
My sister posted happy birthday on Facebook and tagged me, then the birthday notifications came pouring in.
The sounds of the notifications almost ruined my day because it made me anxious and panicky.
Truth is, I didn’t want my birthday to be a public affair, but it happened.
I’m sorry if this sounds harsh. If you like Facebook birthday greetings, I have nothing against you.
Just talking about somethings IDGAF about.
2. Regular talking on the phone does not necessarily certify friendship
Another thing I think you should know before you turn 40 is that regular talking on the phone is not the only way to know if y’all are close.
You can actually have a very close friend or even your bestie, and you guys may not talk for months.
But whenever you do, you just continue like you only spoke yesterday. And you catch up on things that happened from the last time you talked.
However, there are some friends that call you and this is what you hear:
You forgot about me.
Oh, you don’t even call me anymore.
you don’t visit anymore or
You didn’t like my pictures on Instagram, Facebook, or just some other crappy stuff.
Anyone that calls me and says this gets added to the IDGAF list.
You don’t have to talk to your friends on the phone every friggin day to know you are good friends.
People have lives and other things they do with their time. Plus, we all need and deserve some quiet alone time.
3. You don’t need to “show” anyone anything
Do you sometimes do stuff because you want someone you know to see that you are making progress?
Or let me put it this way. Let’s say you got this great job you’ve been working hard for, and the next thing that comes to mind is:
“Now, people that don’t like me will see that I have arrived”.
So are you telling me that you worked hard to achieve something good just to show someone?
What are you even showing them?
How about doing it for you?
Don’t you matter?
So another thing you should know before you turn 40 is to achieve and make progress for yourself.
4. Competition is crappy – unless you are competing with yourself
Sometimes, we are consciously or unconsciously competing with people we know or even those we don’t know.
Maybe your friend bought a car before you but you’re not really happy for them because you believed you were supposed to get that first.
Before your 40s, you should know that everybody’s time is different, and you should celebrate with your friends when they celebrate.
And sympathize with them too if it so happens.
But here’s where things get interesting. When your friend makes B.S remarks because you take the bus and they drive a car.
Open your eyes and see the handwriting on the wall. They are giving you clues that you’re not in the same league anymore.
There’s a secret competition going on, and you’re only realizing it now.
Babe, it’s time to walk away.
5. Social media likes don’t matter
Yeah we all like it when people like our content on social media. It shows they actually like your content.
But when you begin to live for it like that’s the most important thing ever is where sh*t hits the fan.
That’s when you get upset and begin to count likes or trying too hard to be someone you’re not, hoping it would make people like you more.
It just doesn’t matter.
So before you turn 40, just know that random likes on social media do not matter.
6. Learn to make excuses for people
Let me straighten this out so you don’t misunderstand me.
Imagine you leave a comment on a post, and the original poster doesn’t reply. Instead of getting upset and whining like a teenager, you can say:
Maybe they didn’t see my comment, or they’re busy and would reply when they have time.
And if they don’t reply still, you move on. Nobody is hurt.
So you don’t become a crazy angry 40year old on social media.
Plus, if you believe they’re intentionally ignoring your comments – which happens a lot on Twitter – then stop commenting on their posts.
Maybe they don’t see you as part of their clique.
Yeah, there are mom cliques on Twitter, believe it or not.
Just ignore and move on…
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7. Stop making people more important than they really are
One very important thing you should know before your 40s is to stop looking for the nonexistent enemy.
When you do this, you make people more important than they really are.
The worst thing about this is you’re giving them so much power over your life.
An example of this is, you got pregnant and you’re excited you’d have a baby soon. But you can’t or won’t tell anyone because you believe this and this person wants to do you harm.
So if they learn about my good news, they may cause a miscarriage.
Now I understand miscarriage is hard because I’ve been there. And because of that, some people keep pregnancies hush.
Because they don’t want to have to tell you again if something bad happens. This I totally understand.
But some of us live our lives like there’s someone out there that has so much power to cause a vehicle accident or whatnot.
Anyway, not in my life.
8. Saying no won’t kill you
Before you turn 40, just know that saying no won’t kill you.
Stop being a people pleaser. If you don’t want to be part of your high school or college Whatsapp group chat, say no.
Yes, it is not easy. But would you rather be where you don’t want to because you don’t want to hurt anyone?
Girl, before you’re 40, know where and what is worth your time and energy.
Between, those Whatsapp groups are created so people can show off, and compare life achievements, and all that sh*t. Excuse my french.
9. Not everybody will like you
Anyone approaching 40 that doesn’t know that people will dislike you for nothing should know it now.
And you know what? It doesn’t matter.
So what if they don’t like you? That’s their business. Eff, them.
Human beings would find something to resent you for, and you cannot help it.
Don’t waste precious time wondering why.
10. Don’t let people live in your head rent-free
Before you turn 40, you must know that some thoughts are not worth being in your head.
Don’t let people live in your head, rent-free.
And that includes keeping a grudge. I understand if you’ve cut people off and don’t want to have anything to do with them anymore.
But don’t spend your days thinking about them or staying unhappy about how they hurt you.
They’ve hurt you and shown you the kind of person they are, now it is time to let them go and live your life.
Program your brain to think about you, your goals, and the people that matter.
Conclusion To 10 Things That Don’t Matter When You’re Close To 40
So those are ten things you should know before you turn 40.
I hope you enjoyed this post or got something from it.
Are there other things you think people should know before they turn 40?
Please share them with us.
Thanks for reading.
Remember to pin me.